crescentview | FALL CATCH-ALL

[Syrlya's expression twists wryly as he steps in, and aside so Adelis can swiftly close the door.] No offense to Mishka intended, of course. I was just hoping to speak to you in private. It shouldn't take long.

[He's not looking forward to it all the same.]

You may use full offense. I've nary had a moment to myself since then.

[ For...a multitude of reasons. Some best left unsaid. Not that he minds all of them, really- he has slept better these days than he has all of Fall.

The door closes and he shivers with a light grimace, before stepping further into the house where the warmth has congregated. He knew he wasn't going to enjoy winter with all his problems, but really. ]

Is that so. I take it that means you've no interest in tea, then?

[ He already had some made, but if it's a quick visit... ]

I wouldn't ask you to trouble yourself. [Not knowing it's been made, he gestures towards the living room instead.] But perhaps we can sit down?

That would be the least trouble I've been through in recent days.

[ But, if that's what he wants. Although, an odd request, if he ever saw one. Rare did their talks come so unannounced and brief.

He shrugs his shoulders, before sighing. ]

Very well. As you wish.

[ Off to the living room, then...which is very warm, and made sufficiently cozy, with a few blankets and cushions on the couch. He'll take his seat, and gesture for Syrlya to take his. ]

[It is cozy--Syrlya can appreciate the warmth from the fire.

He smiles, only briefly in gratitude and takes the seat Adelis gestures to. He clasps his hands in his lap] Thank you. I needed to talk to you today about us. It's--ah, how should I put it?

[His gaze rolls up briefly. Of course he's thought about the words, but--now that he's actually here, he's second guessing him. He wants to make this easy for Adelis. For them both.

He pauses for a long moment before he looks back at Adelis with a serious expression. Might as well just go for it.] Adelis. You are very important to me. I love you as a friend. [That's the easy part, the part that comes out clearly without hesitation.

He purses his lips, averting his gaze.] But I also... I have a bit of a fancy for you. Romantically. [This is just as awkward as he thought.] I am not asking for reciprocation or--it is something that I have pushed aside and not thought about between us. But it has... come up, and--

Those feelings of mine are a problem.

[ About 'us'. That is not a topic he expected to ever be brought up in this manner, with this sort of tone. He leans his cheek on his fist on the arm of the couch, peering over with a light narrowing of the eyes as Syrlya clearly struggles for his words. Whatever this is, something tells him he won't particularly like it.

When he looks back with a serious look on his face, his eyebrows raise, blinking in surprise. He doesn't...really know how to answer that, really. He says it with such conviction, in a way Adelis could not.

But that meagre thought is shoved away as Syrlya continues, cogs in his brain grinding to a halt as they process the words coming out of his mouth.

...Huh. This is. Not what he was expecting, in the least, and despite his normal composure, he finds himself at a loss for words if but for a moment as he computes it. The romantic inclination is the biggest surprise, but the way he speaks, it's with a heavy regret that he doesn't quite know how to feel about.

A beat passes, and Adelis straightens up a little, shifting his expression to make it seem like he's less gobsmacked then he is. ]

...It has 'come up', you say. [ Trying to address some things here whilst not touching othrs. ] You do not seem the type the allow such things to interfere with your life, so I am assuming that whatever brought it to light is the problem?

[ Because, really, he seems like the type to take such things to the grave- one thing he can agree on. He would not have guessed, unexperienced with friendship and relationships as a whole, but now a lot of things make sense when he thinks about it- ]

[Adelis' lack of reaction, is, in some way, a relief. He knew he wasn't interested, but not making things uncomfortable now at least means he doesn't need to dance around explaining it's just a crush.

But, ah. Yes. He could have easily kept them under wraps, and he realizes Adelis deserves the whole explanation. So that he does not misunderstand the fault.]

It... Trahearne was upset to discover it. Very. Upset. He asked if I was... disloyal. We Sylvari have an empathetic connection with each other, so I felt his betrayal. And now that he knows those feelings exist in me--well, I do not want to cause him any grief wondering if I am yearning for someone else.

[He takes a breath, steeling himself to look back at Adelis. This deserves his full attention.] So I think we--that. I. Need some space.

[He waves a hand in the air.] Not that we have to ignore each other, just that--to enable these feelings to subside we should spend less private time together. And avoid physical contact. For now. I know that... interferes with the promise I made to you, but that is something you can now rely on Mishka for, isn't it?

[ Really, the way he's feeling about it is difficult to parse, so it's far easier to smooth over his expression and pretend it's nothing...much easier then it was a few weeks ago, with a certain someone else. This feels far less like being beat upside the head with them, at least.

He's listening, but the change in expression from neutral and questioning slips into something more like aggravation, eyes narrowing as his brows furrow.

That should not irritate him as much as it does. Feelings aside, what the actual fuck. ]

Let me get this clear- he accused you of infidelity, and you didn't wrest the tongue from his lying mouth? Does he even know you, or has he simply grown the stones to say whatever he damn well pleases?

[ Adelis' lips purse tightly, both in irritation and displeasure. While he obviously dislikes the reasons for...reasons of his own, he's also not Syrlya's keeper- it's not like he can decide what he does, his own feelings on the matter notwithstanding.

There's a moment of silence following this, following his question. That's a whole other can of worms to open, Mishka's feelings on it, but he opts not bring it up, gaze flickering to the floor instead. No, he'll keep that to himself. ]

...What you choose to do is none of my business. [ Perhaps it's a bit callous, but he's not too sure what else to say- get angry about it? Fight over it? Of course not. Were this Ostoya, breaking a promise would incur a heavy debt, one most people aren't willing to burden themselves with- but his fingers hesitate to set anything on the scale. ] If this is what you so desire, then it's hardly my place to tell you otherwise, regardless of a certain somebody's obvious idiocy.

[ He doesn't like the weird feeling settling in his stomach like silt, nowhere near as strong as before, but still unpleasant all the same. ]

Stay away, if it suits you. I will offer no protest.

[Syrlya shifts up at Adelis' outburst, momentarily surprised at his vehemence over the supposed infidelity?

Does Trahearne know him? That's a complicated question with seven years between them. Syrlya does not have the trust he once did. He's changed.

Eventually his lips quirk into a crooked smile.] Well, I appreciate your vote of confidence.

[Would that he could just get Trahearne's.

And in the end Adelis accepts it, which Syrlya knows is for the best. Even if it stings, wouldn't it only hurt worse if he did protest and Syrlya had to dig in his heels? This is the easiest way.]

... I am sorry, all the same, for breaking my promises. Ah--but this does not revoke my promise for you and Mishka to follow us to Tyria. And I can still offer money and connections as a joint gift. He can understand that.

[ The smile is certainly not returned, displeasure still worming beneath the surface. Really, the fucking audacity he has. If Syrlya won't do it, perhaps he'll have to simply go over there one day himself and personally let it sink in.

Maybe something else should sink in, too, like a blade. ]

You should garner one of your own, if you know what's good for you.

[ Perhaps he isn't the shining paragon of self confidence he once was, but he also would never sit around and let someone disrespect him like that, either. Neither should Syrlya, in his humble opinion.

Acceptance on the outside is easier, because part of him feels unwilling to do more. It would imply he's gotten far softer than he feels comfortable admitting, no matter the unpleasant sensation coiling about his ribcage.

...Still. ]

We've no need of that. [ It comes out blunt, as he continues to stare off, not at the other's face. The bitterness in his chest doesn't bubble out of his mouth completely, but he can't stamp it out, either. ] Charity is unnecessary. We are more than capable of forging something for ourselves, when the time comes.

[ If Mishka wants it, he won't protest, but...

...If they aren't going to be that close, then what does he need it for? ]

[... Syrlya lets out a breath. He supposes he should have expected that.]

You are. I have full faith you two will thrive in Tyria. [But... maybe Mishka will still accept it.

The silence lingers, Syrlya finding himself reluctant to get up--once he does, he'll be closing the door completely. And he... doesn't want that.

But it's already in motion. He doesn't want to hurt Trahearne and this is... the best way he can think to balance feelings that aren't requited anyway. It's for the best.

Finally he rises to his feet, the bracelet slipping down his arm and into view against his wrist, just under the sleeve.] That was all I needed to say. Perhaps...

[... No, maybe it isn't right to instill hope when he can't guarantee a timeline.] Well. You know where to find me if it's ever urgent.

[ Faith, hm. He doesn’t need anything like that- Adelis could scavenge himself to the top again if need be, especially since he wouldn’t be alone.

Or completely alone, anyway.

The silence is deafening, more so then he’d prefer, and it makes the faint buzzing in his skull louder than it has to be. While good with words when he wishes to be, he finds nothing comes to him, which is vexing enough. Social situations, he can handle.

Whatever this is, however…

He watches Syrlya get up out of the corner of his eye, gaze snapping to the faint glimpse of the bracelet he’d gifted him before, and the necklace hanging beneath his shirt feels ten times heavier than usual. ]

I can handle myself. [ Or so he says. But part of him feels…unwanted, uncomfortably enough, and he has never sought out people that do not desire his company in turn. ] …But I will keep that in mind.

[ A pause. ]

Do you need me to walk you out, then.

... Well, if you would like, I won't tell you where to go in your own home. [He stalls for a moment, even if Adelis isn't looking to get up... just to look at him.

BUt he does turn to the door, and whether it's to Adelis in the living room, or if he actually sees Syrlya out, he parts with a simple:] Take care, Adelis.

FALL CATCH-ALL

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