( He can feel how Ellis tries to exert that much force, and how it's tired him. It's a big ask, a burden, and to an extent he knows that some bread and a little help and company doesn't really balance the scales enough.

How else does one repay time spent and gained, when time is the scarcest resource of all? It sits uncomfortable in his stomach.

The question, though, gives him pause. )

... "In a sense. I'd intended to close out my business, but, when I was speaking to someone I hadn't had a chance to say farewell to before... the island's meddling made affairs a little bit more complicated."

( Don't jinx it!!!

He's NOT ANSWERING THI )

"Far worse— I promised I wouldn't be going anywhere."

( Now he's legally obligated to not lose himself to his curse somehow. smh smh. )

( The sudden flurry and subsequent force surprises him, the resistance a sharp sound like metal keening as a machine tries to peel it back. He's gotten used to the increasing if subtle discomfort he's felt lately, because the more the insects become him, the more pushing them back becomes akin to peeling back his own skin; now, the feeling is more pronounced.

He purses his lips, though, and doesn't complain, because... Ellis is worried for him? There's a question mark there. In some way he's forced himself to be distant from what seemed soon coming, so seeing someone so attached is...

He doesn't dislike it, and that sits funny in his chest. )

... "What's going to happen isn't due to a lack of ability on your part. This is a consequence of my own choice."

( He signs slow, contemplative. One can't cheat their own end. Maybe, if he'd finished his bingo and used his wish to be without his curse, he could have avoided all this, but...

Who is he without his curse? Is that not the same, in some way, as losing himself to this disease? The death of the self is what he fears more than any corruption of the body, even if he's sure he's no longer quite the same Mishka he was as a child, before this curse bred in him. )

"There might not be a way to stop it from happening. But I've been thinking there might be a way to keep my mind intact when it happens. It seems a fair compromise."

( ... Fluffs his hair a little. He doesn't remark on it, though. It's just one of the few nice gestures he has and he has to use it for a lot of different things. In this case, thanks for worrying about him. )

"I've been speaking to Vanitas, who has some experience with treating curses in his home. I fall out of his usual purview, but he believes he can help me achieve this specific end. And...

( He hooks his thumb gently around the thin chain of his waterdrop necklace to better display it. )

"I've spoken to the Goddess. She was kind enough to give me a artifact. I believe that between Vanitas's treatment and this charm, there is a chance I will be able to manage."

( Just a chance, but not nothing. He lets the charm drop back against his chest. )

"I would like you there, as well, if you are willing. I believe there is a chance, rooted in this unnatural instinct, that I will react with violence or hostility if Vanitas attempts to treat me. But I believe you can neutralize the worst of it, and make this treatment possible."

( Oh, the lack of hesitation gives him pause, but not in a bad way. )

... "Vanitas said he is a skilled combatant, so I've asked him to look after you should I fail to abide by reason at any point." ( Hulk out too hard, basically. ) "Do take him by the ponytail if he seems disinclined to recall my request."

( So make sure to stay close to him... you know. )

( Good!! Sounds like Ellis knows him better than Mishka. )

"Very well, then. And should the procedure be successful, I will ask that you be there to help me practice my signs. I do not recall having much of a voice to speak with, but I think I will have the right composition of limbs with which to sign."

( Though, he is pretty sure he won't be able to do his subtle signs really, but that is a fair tax for being able to retain himself.

Still. He's not very good at expressing it, but in a roundabout way he does mean to say he enjoys Ellis's company and would not like him harmed, and would like him around if he should retain himself. He's just, you know. a Mishka about it. )