She wouldn't grant me more when I probed. Just that you may stay alive, wherever you might go. I may not see full use of it, but...

( How does that work with different canonpoints, or re-entering a world in which you died? He hasn't the slightest idea. But if she swears by it, then... all they can do is trust it, or doubt. )

In any case, I know someone who claimed he wished for similar, and he indicated it was a wish granted. So there is that.

Wishes are not for the satisfied, but for the desperate.

( For people like Trahearne, and himself, in other words. Only people in awful need would sign without knowing the fine print. )

Are you keen on remaining here, then?

( ... )

... I don't know if this is a possible thing, but, if it could be arranged... If your home is better than Ostoya in nature, would you consider sheltering Adelis? Perhaps if he is able to spend a wish on it, or consents to a wish used on his behalf.

( Since he can't just make request for Adelis for Some Reason? Adelis has to agree to it??? )

I think he will be lonely without you.

( What ?

Okay, hold on, he needs to put a lore pin in that. Firstly, )

I'm flattered by the offer. ( Genuinely. ) As it is, however, I will no longer be myself in a short while, so it will not do me much good to wish that I remain alive.

( You know, casually. )

I would be comfortable using my wish on Adelis, instead, to free up the other one he may have; perhaps to revert his current condition, if he so chooses.

( Clearly he had intended to brush past the topic, but... He did mention it, so he isn't exactly trying to hide it, either. )

... So it seems. She reset my body to what it was some time before the curse took hold of me, and it was still for a week or two before it began again to progress.

( Hence his impatience with all these Adelis things. )

Well, if I cannot find a way to solve the matter, I will see that there is someone able to kill me or seal me when it occurs.

( The gesture, and the sympathy, gives him pause. He does not stop it, but he regards it like a wild animal with a friendly hand set upon it— not with hostility, but with a sense of uncertainty.

There is a part of him that refutes the sympathy, as if it were condescension, or pity. Still, a part of him, the part of him that grew a little traveling with his band of hired hands, recognizes the gesture as a form of connection.

It isn't comfortable, and it isn't easy to accept. Isolation will always be that much easier than brushing up against the jagged edges of another, but.

In the end, he supposes he appreciates the sentiment. )

... Do you recall when we first met, and I told you of my condition?

( It has been fun in some way, explaining what it is with his insects to those who are intrigued and not necessarily repulsed or afraid. )

All things decay. I was meant to decay faster than some others, when I was very young. But I am pleased I lasted as long as I have, and... though my years as myself were cut short by my own hand, ( because he released the curse, ) I prefer it to knowing I let Duke Koshevek have him.

( This, at least, he can say with pride. He lasted a very long time for one with his condition, for an Ostoyan, even, and though he wants terribly to live, more than anything... If he had entered this reverie, Crescent View, knowing he had spared himself and let Adelis stay... he doesn't think his pride would suffer him to live for such cowardice. )

( That earns a bit of a laugh from Mishka— the bit about pessimism. )

I never used to be so concerned about it before. ( Like, obviously, he cared about staying alive, but single-minded survivalism is very different than regret, worry, and... ) But staying around people so much makes a person sentimental. It's strange.

( Strange and uncomfortable, and often he resents it, but he's figuring it out, for better or worse. )

At present, I'm seeing Ellis on the daily, if you've met him. He's a power that forces the progress to reset slightly with every application. I also intend to speak with the Goddess to see if she will take the offering for a favor to regulate matters, but... I'm unclear if it is within her power. She speaks as if it is, but I don't see much sense in holding my breath.

( He rests a hand on the back of his neck, rubbing the brand there in idle thought. )

I know of some who said they work with curses in their home, but I haven't a sense of if they've regained those powers, yet. Still, I'll likely make a house call and see if there's changes on that front.

( So he's been peeking into several leads... No solution yet, but. He's preparing for failure, but still trying. )

He calls it stabilization; he returns things to their neutral state, to my best understanding. Temperaments, health, and, as it turns out, curses. It only lasts so long as you're within his vicinity, but it has been a great asset. I would have been a beast a week or two ago already without it.

( Is that an accurate assessment? He won't say. But his aid cannot be understated, in his opinion. )

I don't think there's any curing me, but if I can weaken its grip on my mind enough to remain as myself... Well, I'll be quite ugly once I turn, but I'd still be me. I think that's the best anyone can hope for.

( He will miss this body he's grown used to, but, as long as his mind is intact... Beggars can't be choosers, really. )

I would be quite sour if you were.

( But he appreciates it. )

Are you well-versed in illusions, then?

( :O Mishka seems genuinely intrigued. )

Still, it's a thought worth entertaining, even if only as an exercise.

( In other words, he's curious enough to ask more about it. )

Say that my maw were up here, ( he points vaguely upward ) and the rest of me were down here. ( He points to the general plane of the floor. ) Could you mask my appearance, still, and have me look as I do now? Would a person still feel my masked proportions, if they were to touch a space they thought were empty, and feel my broader arm?

( He's using himself as an example, but any example will do. )

( Interesting... He takes mental notes. Syrlya would be a headache to skirmish with. )

I can't imagine how useful that might have been on the field... Well, in any scenario at all. ( Assassination in particular, but most anything could benefit from such sensory manipulation. Poisons and drugs, while quite useful, afford him far less acute control over a target's senses. ) I suppose this might help me if I wanted to recall what it might be like to remain Mishka-bodied. My memories of my transformation are muddled, but I'm fairly sure I was quite large.

"When," hm. I'll hold you to it.

( The O in Ostoya sure doesn't stand for optimism, so he's unfamiliar. But he supposes he prefers this than to acting like a dead man walking, even if he is getting his affairs in order. )

Well, do let me know how you and Otegine enjoy the food, and I'll see that I keep you updated on affairs. And regarding the artifact meant for Adelis...

( Hmmm. Actually. He seemed about set to wrap up, but a thought occurs to him. He holds it for a few moments, weighing his thoughts. )

... Perhaps tangential, but are you very good with letters?